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Scott Brown
This article is about the renowned humorologist. For the sports figure, see Scott Brown (Scottish footballer).
Scott Brown
Born
March 2, 1976 (age 23)
Opelika, Alabama (Europe)
Pen name
Jonathan Safran Foer
Occupation
Writer, author, writer-author, songstress, avid composter
Genres
Fiction, nonfiction, fan-fiction, email, checks (no less than $50)
Influences
Julius Caesar, Raphael (disambiguation: ninja turtle), Black Jesus, the Bangles: Greatest Hits
Web site
www.people.com (updated infrequently)
Scott McClure Brown
(born March 2, 1976) is an American writer, journalist, and underwear model. [citation needed]
Early life and career
Brown was born in Alabama in 1976. He grew up white and male — which, he assures you, is harder than it looks. He learned sharecropping from his father and wine-pairing from his mother, but his greatest teacher was the streets: They taught him everything he knows about paving and resurfacing. HA! Yes, Brown is also a humorist, and thank you, America, for the laughter.
In 1998, Brown began writing for magazines and awaiting the creation of a free, crowdsourced online encyclopedia that would deliver the recognition denied him by his peers, his parents, and Who's Who Among American High School Students 1993/1994.
Controversy
Famously, no one has ever created a Wikipedia page for Brown, an omission some attribute to a lack of Web savvy on the part of Brown's mother. Across Brown's apartment, the debate rages: How is it that a man can write stuff, put his name on it, and get published over and over again and not warrant a few lines in the world's de facto most-authoritative public record? Seriously, would it kill the world's de facto most-authoritative public record? You don't even have to upload a picture. (But if you do, please use one of the pre-bald ones.)
Some say Brown was simply too humble to promote himself properly. Others maintain Brown's ideas were too radical for the system, and the system retaliated by not noticing. Still others claim that "some," "others," and "still others" were all Brown, using various high-pitched voices.
Resurgence and triumph
Brown was often advised to secretly author his own Wiki entry, despite how this would violate the rules and juke the whole noble Wiki experiment. "Everyone does it!" Brown was told. What's the use of a free-market popularity contest if it's rigged and padded, he reasoned. Then it's just LinkedIn! For years, he maintained a serene faith in the wisdom of crowds, checking Wikipedia two or three times a day to discover that a) he wasn't there and b) crowds are stupid. And then one day, after a night of heavy drinking, an entry finally appeared.
"I didn't write this"
Late in his Wikipedia entry, Brown was quoted as saying, "I didn't write this Wikipedia entry. It may look like I did, but I didn't. I'm a published writer, so it's not inconceivable that one of my many hot young fans [citation needed] wrote this. I'll look it over, though, just to make sure everything's accurate ... Yup, looks good!"
Death and sainthood
Toward the end of his life, Brown died. He died a hero, blowing up a Nazi asteroid that was either headed for Ohio or was the size of Ohio. (And he doesn't even have any friends in Ohio!) Anyway, the people have spoken. With a single voice. Which is not his. Make changes, but know this: The people check this page a lot, and they like it how it is.
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Scott Brown's Wikipedia page may (or may not) be here .
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